Life Just Ain't Fair
by LLN
Summary: 500yrs into the future after being used both those Xander loves. As he watches the Fireflies dance he gets a new lease on life.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Life Just Ain't Fair.

Author: LLN

Fandom: Buffy/Post Serenity crossover

Pairing: SLASH: Xander/Spike, Implied Willow/Xander, implied Buffy/Xander,

Buffy/Angel, more as they come.

Disclaimer: Don't we're. Joss does.

'Bottom line is even if you see them coming, your not ready for the Big

Moments. No one asks for their life to change. Not really but it does. So what are you?

Helpless? Puppets? No. The Big moments are gonna come you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out **who** you are…'

Whislter-Becoming-Buffy.

River slowly, almost lovingly, ran a hand over the stasis unit. She remembered when she had been put in one. She hadn't liked it. She wonders if the Sleeper liked it less than she had. Her brother looked over the readouts of the unit.

If she understood everything then Serenity was transporting it someplace. She didn't really understand everything that went on around her, but she knew that the Sleeper called out to her. She could see it…

A blond woman, who could fight like she did, fought with a bleached blond male who had ridges on his brow. Yellow eyes gleamed with a feral bloodlust. It was a monster like the Reavers.

A woman with long blood colored hair with inky black eyes, shooting lightning from her fingertips, and chanting in a long dead language.

Dusty books and ancient weapons surrounded an older man, wearing a suit. A powerful aura surrounded him as well.

Darkness, fear, despair…

Light, love, hope…

A hero's trails…Battles won, battles lost…

Dark, dark eyes that cried soundless for help…

River blinked, and then pulled back her hand.

"Help, " she whispered.

Simon looked up from the controls of the stasis unit. He had heard her whisper but not what she said.

"Are you alright, mei-mei?"

"The One Who Sees…the Fallen White Knight…" whispered River with a tear running down her cheek.

Simon frowned in confusion. She was making less sense than normal even her.

"He is the First."

Mal and Zoe stood at the back port of the Serenity listening to their employer's last minute instructions given to them by the well-dressed redhead woman.

"That stasis unit must not be opened under any circumstances. The delivery must be made in a week."

Mal nodded.

"We get paid on arrival?" he asked.

The redhead nodded.

"On delivery of the unit."

"Of course." Muttered Mal. He had a bad feelin' about this run. It was the same one he had when Simon Tam had bought passage two years ago. But Mal had a crew to pay and feed.

"My sister will be waiting, she will be the snobby looking blond. Trust me you won't miss her. I **can not** stress how important it is that you **not** be late."

"You have my word. The unit will arrive on time in perfect condition."

The redhead's eyes narrowed, and for a moment Mal would swear they flashed black. She then nodded.

"Do not fail, Captain. The consequences would be dire," she threatened and then walked away.

Mal turned to Zoe.

"Am I the only one with a bad feeling about this?"


	2. Chapter 2

CH.2

The crew of the Serenity was gathered in the cargo bay.

" No one but the Doc is to touch that thing." said Mal looking at the others. His gaze

Stopping on his mechanic.

"This means you, Kaylee!" He said.

Kaylee rolled her eyes. Open one shipment and no one lets you forget it.

"Now, Captain you still don't blame me for that."

"Hamsters, Kaylee, all over my ship!"

She made a face at him but promised not to touch the stasis unit.

Mal stood there for a moment.

"Any thing else Sir?" Asked Zoe.

"Uh, no."Said their captain.

River silently walked down the stairs.

The others were all in their quarters. She knew this was the best time….

Time to awaken the Sleeper.

Only the Sleeper could help with what was to come.

Could help **her**….

River ran a hand slowly, almost lovingly, over the top of the stasis unit.

Mal stumbled out of his quarters swearing at the sound of the alarm.

He was going to throw whoever touched that stasis unit, out of an airlock.

He made his way to the cargo bay. Meeting up with the others as he did so.

They saw River sitting on the floor with a young man, who had long dark hair.

He was resting with his head in her lap. She looked up at them.

"The Sleeper has awakened."

Mal sighed.

"I'm guessing you helped awaken him."

Simon walked over to her and kneeled next to her.

"Mei-mei, what have you done?"

River looked at her brother as she ran her fingers through the young man's hair.

"Help him, Simon."

Simon saw that the man's eyes were unfocused and that he was shaking.

"He need to be brought to the medical bay." He told them.

"Don't suppose we could just put him back in the box?" asked Mal.

Simon glared at Mal.

"You suppose right."

Mal sighed again.


	3. Chapter 3

Life Just Ain't Fair-ch3

"So, what's wrong with him, Doc?" asked Mal once they got the boy to the medical bay.

Simon sighed.

"Stasis sickness, it starts with the shakes, then there is the blindness…it's not fatal just uncomfortable. "

"So, you can help him." Said Mal now standing at the foot of the medical bed, as the young doctor nodded. Zoë was standing next to the bed; she had helped move the boy.

"Captain, what are we going to do?" she asked.

"Who cares," said Jayne from the doorway," he's got demon eyes!"

Simon snorted then said.

"No, he doesn't. While very rare it is possible for some one to have a green eye and a brown eye." Jayne shook his head, he didn't care if it was rare it just wasn't natural to him, eyes should be the same color.

"Demon eyes," he muttered again. The boy on the bed moved then, quicker than a snake, he pulled Zoë's gun from her hip hoster and pointed it toward the door.

'_I didn't even feel that.'_ Thought Zoë in shock.

"I thought you said he **couldn't** see!" Mal hissed to Simon.

"He **can't**!" Simon hissed back.

"Take it back, " the boy whispered hoarsely.

"I'm not a demon!"

"Or what?" asked Jayne with a smirk.

"Or I'll shoot you." The boy said flatly.

"Now, hold on a second…"said Mal holding up a hand, then realized the boy couldn't see the jester. He glared at Jayne.

"Say your sorry for insulting, the nice young man who has Stasis Blindness, who's holding a gun."

Jayne crossed his arms over his chest.

"No."

The boy pulled the trigger, the gun fired…Jayne barely ducked in time to avoid being hit.

"Hey, no shooting my ship!" yelled Mal

"Are you **crazy**?" shouted Jayne.

The young man, now rested on an elbow, smirked as he held the gun on Jayne.

"You, know for as many times, as I've been asked that question I should be."

River was standing next to Simon. She reached out and petted the boy's long dark hair.

"Jayne's just mean…not evil." She said. The others glared at Jayne, until he mumbled an apologized. The young man sighed and melted into River's touch. Then spun the gun around by the trigger, before slipping the gun back into Zoë's holster. Slowly he lay back on the bed.

"Hey, Doc?"

"Yes?" Simon.

"Can you make with the shot so I can see again?" he asked with the weariness of someone who had been through the sickness before.

Slowly, Xander Harris blinked, at the bright light shining into his eyes. He looked around the room. A beautiful black woman with long curly black hair stood by his bed, a hand resting on the butt of her gun. This had to be the person he took the gun off of…and from the look on her face she wasn't happy he did it.

On the other side of the bed stood a young man, maybe ten years older than himself. This was the doctor. He had short dark brown hair and caring brown eyes. Dressed in expensive clothes, practical but expensive. Next to the Doc, there was a young teenaged girl, long dark hair and eyes that reminded him of Drusilla's and Dana's the insanity lurked plainly in her dark, but kind eyes. Xander could tell she was related to the Doc, in someway, a sister perhaps?

Xander glanced toward the door way of the room, the man who stood there **was **a soldier of fortune he could tell by the way the man held himself…and then there was the fact he was armed to the teeth. Xander was pretty sure **that** was whom he tried to shoot.

A small movement next to the black woman caught Xander's attention. A young woman wearing coveralls, who had light tawny colored hair, with grease on pixie stood there looking at the Doc.

Then Xander came to the man standing at the end of his bed. Coal black hair, dark almost black eyes. He wore brown pants and a blue shirt. He looked familiar to Xander. He blinked then rubbed his eyes.

"Preachify…stick out my eye." Xander muttered to himself softly. Mal looked at Simon, who just shrugged. Everyone reacted differently to being taken out of stasis.

"No!" River said sharply. Pulling on his hair making him look at her.

"Not him, looks like…maybe even was…but not **him** now!" Xander thought about that then nodded.

"Why don't we exchange names?" asked Xander.

"Ok," said Mal " who are you?"

Xander snickered and shook his head. Mal sighed and began to speak.

" I'm Mal, captain of the Serenity, which your on by the way. Next to you is my first mate Zoë. The Doc, there is Simon; the pretty thing with the death grip on your hair is his sister River. Jayne's the one over there by the door; he's the one you tried to shoot. Don't do that again by the way. If anyone is going to shoot Jayne it's going to be one of my crew." He said, as Jayne made a discontented noise.

" And Kaylee there is our grease monkey, she keeps this ship running."

Xander didn't see just a group of crewmates he saw a family, one that had suffered loss and had know triumphs, but had yet to be truly tested.

"Xander Harris," he said then paused," just so you know, I'm **not **getting back into that box."

Mal sighed…he seemed to be doing that often lately.

"I figured as much."


	4. Chapter 4

Like Just Ain't Fair-ch4

It had been a week since Xander had been released for the stasis unit. A week since he made a deal with the captain of Serenity. He knew **they** would start searching for him.

He was angry with **them**. **Her** most of all, she should and did know better. He didn't like it when **she** played with his memories. He was missing time.

But Xander knew **her** magic wasn't as strong as it use to be, or perhaps **she **had just used it often on him, and he had become immune to it.

What worried him was the missing time; he remembered the time spent with **them** how they had used him like a slave…each of them.

Xander was not a happy Xander and soon they would know that. But first he needed time to get his head back together.

Serenity was passing through a ship graveyard. Xander had been watching the dead ships float in space, passing by each other, crashing into each other like it was a …

"Dance," said a soft voice. Xander looked away from the view port. River stood next to him. He hadn't even heard her come into the room.

'_I should have hear her.'_ He thought, but wasn't sure why he should have.

"Do the stars sing for you?" Xander asked her instead.

"Do they for you?" she replied. Xander shrugged.

"Sometimes, I think they do. Sometimes I think I'm just crazy, you?"

She shook her head.

"They don't speak to me, but Serenity does sometimes, she speaks to Kaylee too."

That Xander didn't doubt. But then most of Serenity's crew seemed touched to Xander, though his could cast no stones. It was the crazy one, who were the most interesting.

"What are they?" Xander asked motioning to the ships in the graveyard.

"Fireflies, that weren't given Serenity's fate. There pretty when they dance, Serenity hasn't danced since Wash died." She said sadly. Xander nodded, he had heard about Wash from Zoë she liked to talk about her husband, to remember him. He stared out of the view port.

"You can't hide…"

"Not hiding, just resting, getting…" he trailed off.

"Getting the crazy out."

Xander frowned.

"No, trying to remember…"

River shook her head, then gave him the 'your stupid' look.

"Try to hard, make yourself worst, let it come on it's own."

Xander sighed and wanted to smack himself. It was a known fact that when you **wanted** to remember something you **couldn't. **

He was about to reply when Kaylee come into the room.

"There you are Xander, Captain wants to see you."

"Why?"

"That redhead, she done waved the Captain accusing him of stealin' the cargo we were to deliver. But since you are the cargo…she's making a fuss."

A dark look crossed his face, making Kaylee take a step back. They all like Xander, except for Jayne, they were still warily of him but River who would follow him around like a puppy sometimes. Xander got up and walked by Kaylee.

"Guess I'll go see the Captain then."

River frowned.

"What's wrong River?" asked Kaylee.

"Things are coming strange things…he sees them. He doesn't like them."

"Who doesn't like what?"

"The White Knight, he sees the darkness claiming those he called friends…family. He wishes he was still blind." River told Kaylee as she followed Xander.


	5. Chapter 5

Life Just Ain't Fair-ch.5

Mal looked at the monitor that showed the redhead, he had dealt with over the stasis unit that had held Xander. He didn't like it when clients lied to him; it always bought trouble when they did.

"Captain, I demand to know just what you are still doing with my cargo. My sister waved me, saying you hadn't arrived yet"  
Mal sighed.

"There was a slight mishap with the cargo," he told her.

The red-head's eyes narrowed, " What sort of mishap?"

"He woke up."

Her eyes widened.

"How did he wake up, if no one opened the stasis unit"  
Mal got an embarrassed look on his face.

"That was the mishap." He stated flatly. The woman seemed to growl at that statement.

"I want you to return the cargo, you have no ideal what your dealing with." She told him. Mal was about to reply when he heard the door to the cockpit area open, he watched the self-a-sure woman pale to a ghostly white. Mal turned to see a mean smile cross Xander's face.

"Xander, sweetie your awake." Said the woman.

"Yeah, I'm Willow, no thanks to you."

"Now, Xander you know I would never..."

"Shut up, Willow!" Xander cut her off, the anger plain on his face.  
"Your are one of my best friends, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS!"

"Xander..."

"NO! You don't get to say anything here. You did to me, is what you did to Tara, all those years ago. I TRUSTED YOU! And what's worst is that BUFFY went along with it. WHAT GAVE YOU TWO THE RIGHT TO PLAY WITH MY LIFE THIS WAY"  
Xander screamed at her.  
For two years they had played with his memories, his emotions, he they had managed to hurt him soul deep. Willow thought her memory spells could make him forget they things they did to him, the things they made him do...

"You had no right." He whispered. It was at this that she flinched. She knew deep down that he was right. She just did want to admit what she did was wrong.

"You have been abusing your powers, it's no wonder you can't find her..." Xander said.  
Willow's cheeks flushed with anger.

"How dare you," she hissed at him. Xander's eye flashed a bright green in anger. Willow who sat half a galaxy away stepped back from her monitor.

"How dare I, Willow you..." he stopped then. Willow saw this as him being unsure of things.

"Xander, come home once your away from those pirates..." "Hey!" Mal interrupted " we're not pirates...this week." Willow sent him a glare.

"As I was saying, once your home things will be clearer, ok"  
Xander shook his head.

"We are not ok, Willow. We may never be ok again." He told her. A dark crossed her face, as her eyes turned black.

"This is all his fault. He was confusing you Xander, I was only doing what was best for you."

"Whose fault?" wondered Xander. Willow said nothing to that.  
"Your still doing it, making decisions for me. I think we all need some time apart."

"Xander, you don't mean that!" exclaimed Willow.

"Yes! I do."

Willow sighed then, her eyes now fully black.

"Buffy, will send Angelus to find you. There is nowhere in the 'Verse, you can hide in where he won't find you." She said. Xander blinked, the glow gone from his eye, but was replaced by a dark feral look.

"Let her," Xander sneered," We still have date for a reckoning, let him come"  
He reached out and flipped off the monitor before Willow could say anything to that.  
Xander sighed and looked at Mal.

"The Dark King and his Slayer Queen will come for him, to take him back to the Red Goddess." A soft voice from the doorway stated. Xander smiled at River.

"Don't worry, Mystic River. I have defeated the Dark King and Slayer Queen before. I just need to rest a bit more." He told her.

"Can't hide for long."

"Not hiding, just have to find the right companions for trip"  
River blinked, Mal looked at them like they were both crazy, Xander turned to Mal.

"I need to send a wave to someone."

"Who?" asked Mal, wondering who this boy really was?

"Cordelia Chase." Mal blinked and frowned.

"The Motion picture Star?" Mal asked incredulity. 


	6. Chapter 6

Life Just Ain't Fair-ch.6

With in moments after Xander send the wave, it was responded too by a beautiful woman with dark eyes, and dark hair that had a white streak in it, artfully styled to show it off.

"Xander," she breathed out, smiled that million-dollar smile that she made famous.

"I've been worried," she said as she smoothed down the high collared red with gold flowers dress she was wearing. Xander smiled embarrassedly.

"Sorry, I lost my mind for a while…"

Cordelia smirked but let the obvious slam pass, and then she frowned.

"Willow and Buffy said you were sick and wouldn't let any of us see you." she said softly. Xander nodded.

"They lied."

"Again? " Cordelia sighed as she shook her head.

"You would think they would know better."

"She was play with my memories." He told her.

"WHAT!"

"But that's not what I want to talk about right now. I would like to come see you."

"No!" she said sharply.

"I'm filming on Paradise, maybe afterward."

Xander frowned but nodded.

"What about my sanctuary?"

"Fumigation. It's being fumigated, vermin, you know."

Xander raised an eyebrow at that.

"Vermin?"

Cordelia nodded.

"Rats, actually."

Xander sighed and nodded in understanding.

"How are the others?" he asked her.

"Good, their good. Dawn and Conner are on Artemis with Faith training the girls." Cordelia told him.

"I found one…or perhaps she found me?"

Cordelia's eyes widen.

"Trainable," she asked. Xander shook his head.

"She should still be trained…for her protection."

"She has plenty of protection. She sees…Cordelia like I do."

Cordelia realized what he was saying.

"Oh, she's nuts."

"Cordelia! Focus, please the others."

She sighed.

"Wesley is on Socrates, he's still teaching there."

"And Spike?"

Cordelia shrugged, "Don't know he checks less than you do."

"Thanks Cor, I'll talk to you later." Said Xander as he turned off the transmission.

"Well?" asked Mal.

"I know what she's going to do." Said Xander.

"How?"

"Did you hear any snark?"

"Uh, no."

"**That's** how I know."

"Well what's she going to do?"

Cordelia Chase turned in her chair, to look at the man with the shoulder length dark-haired and the kicked puppy brown eyes.

"It's done." She said harshly.

"Will he come?"

"What do you think?"

"I think," he sighed " that theirs losing it."

"Angelus, don't do this, just let it go. Let them go." She begged him.

He shook his head.

"What Buffy wants she gets, you know that. Besides I've waiting five hundred years for our reckoning." He smirked.

"Boy's finely a worthy opponent."

Cordelia sneered at him.

"He was always a better man than you!"

Angelus growled, and slapped her then, he grabed her arm jerking her to him. Smirking, he leaned toward her and said " You know, you always did prefer me to him."

She sighed then and wrapped her other arm around his neck, and smiled seductively at him, then she kissed him.

"She's going to betray me…"


	7. Chapter 7

Life Just Ain't Fair-ch.7

"You ain't taken River nowhere." Mal stated. Xander made a dismissing noise, and gave him the 'are you stupid' look.

"Of course not. That damned Academy, never should have gotten a hold of her. After the school tests she should have been sent to the Anya Jenkins School for Gifted Children. The Academy only destroys girls like her."

Even Mal had heard of the Anya Jenkins School for Gifted Children. It was reputed to have started on Earth-That-Was. The only other intuition with the same longevity was the Companion Guild.

"What's your connection to the school?" Mal asked out of curiosity.

"I was a teacher there." Xander said as he got up from one of the pilot chairs and leaving Mal, as River silently followed, alone. Mal sighed and sat back in his chair. Looking up at the ceiling. That boy was a puzzle wrapped around an enigma. Pulled out of a stasis unit by a crazy girl who found the boy festinating, on the run from a couple of women the boy seemed not scared of but wary of. Xander Harris was going to bring nothing but trouble to Serenity decided Mal.

Two days later, Mal walked into the galley to find his crew and Xander gathered around the table laughing. Mal smiled it had been along time since he heard his crew laugh like this, especially Zoë who you could barely pull a smile from since Wash died.

Xander was sitting in a corner, fiddling with a guitar, strumming the string and playing random notes. He had found some of his clothes and things stored in compartments in the stasis unit. River sat next to him petting his long mid-back length hair. Xander had, had a verbal fight when Mal suggested he cut it, Xander won. Mal sometimes wondered what Simon thought of Xander's relationship with River, he seemed to understand her even when she was having one of her bad days, where she didn't recognize anyone and thought she was still at the Academy. When asked how he could Xander just smiled and said you just had to listen then it would all make sense. Jayne had said sense Xander was just as crazy as River of course he understood her.

"Heroes." River said softly. Xander frowned as he shook his head.

"The heroes have all died." River frowned at him.

"They weren't chosen...but they choose," she said as Xander continued to frown, " maybe volunteer is better."

"Browncoats." Xander muttered. The conversations of the others stopped.

"You have something against them." Mal growled out. Xander's eyes widen.

"No! You have to admire those people for what they tried to do. Serenity Valley was a dust up from start to finish. You can only admire their bravery, they tried to stop an evil while the rest of the 'Verse hide their heads in the sand." He said softly. Mal calmed down at the sincerity in his voice.

"You talk like you were there."said Zoë.

"I was," he said getting up, holding onto the guitar with a death grip.  
"I fought for the Alliance." Was what he told them before leaving them shocked. River sits for a moment then looks at the others as if they were morons before she followed after Xander.

Kaylee didn't want to believe that Xander was an Alliance supporter, he just didn't seem the type to her. Jayne was making noises about throwing Xander off the ship, but then it wasn't a secret that Jayne didn't like Xander much. After all Xander did try to shoot him.  
Simon was muttering about the Alliance finding them. Strangely neither Zoë nor the captain said anything. Until Mal slammed his hand down on the counter he was standing next to he glared at the others.

"That's enough of that kind of talk."

"But Captain..." Simon started.

"No! We all have seen he wouldn't do anything to hurt River, Simon you know that. This is just your worry doin' the talkin'. There is no one aboard this ship last hasn't lost something, or is not hiding something. It's what we're here to do. To forget, to hide, to survive, Xander's no different." Mal told them.

"He supported the Alliance, Mal!" said Jayne.

"That's not what he said." Zoë said with a shake of her head. Mal nodded in agreement.

"He said he fought for the Alliance, not that he supported them. Everyone knows the Alliance drafted people into there army." Mal told them harshly.

"We have no right to judge him. Not with our own sins." Said Zoë softly. To that the others could say nothing, as their captain and his first mate walked out of the galley in search of Xander.

Mal and Zoë found Xander and River in the cargo bay. He was sitting on a crate River sat on the floor in front of him as he strummed a tune on the guitar.

"Sing it." She demanded. Xander smiled and began to sing in a husky voice.

Take my love, take my land Take me where I can not stand.

River sighed and closed her eyes.

I don't care, I'm still free.  
You can't take the sky from me...

Mal and Zoë had come down to the cargo bay when they heard the guitar playing; they stood at the foot of the stairs.

Take me out into the black Tell then I ain't comin' back.

Kaylee walked on the catwalk with Simon, they went halfway down the stairs when Kaylee entranced by Xander's singing sat down, Simon sat a few steps above her an hand rested on her shoulder.

Burn the land and boil the sea..

Jayne leaned on the railing of the catwalk.

You can't take the sky from me...

Most of the crew of Serenity had heard this song before but never really understood what it was about...slowly they were learning everyday just what it was about.

There's no place I can be.  
Since I found Serenity.

Xander grinned slightly at that line.  
River opened her eyes. The poor Knight so much pain, so much sadness. A soul so bright should shine in the heavens...not be so hurt.

"But you can't take the sky from me..."sang River as she smiled. 


	8. Chapter 8

Life Just Ain't Fair-ch.8

They stopped at Whitefall for supplies later that month. Mostly because Xander said he would pay for them. It seemed that Xander had accounts all over the 'Verse. Most though weren't in banks but favors people owed him. At first Mal hadn't wanted Xander to pay them anymore than a passager's fee. He just smirked at Mal and called it hazard pay. It became obvious that Xander luck was like Serenity's…bad.

Mal, Jayne, Xander and River walked aboard the ship, they were the last to return from getting supplies. Mal had gotten a wave, from them saying they were in the local jailhouse, for starting a brawl at a bar. He had to go bail them out, the Sheriff asked them to leave the town not wanting the trouble he knew they would bring.

" Just **what** were you **thinking!**" Mal almost shouted at them.

"We have enemies who would love to get a hold of us and there you are starting a barroom brawl?"

"Hey," said Xander, we didn't start anything

"No, we finished it." Said Jayne. It seemed one fight against someone else had made them allies for the moment. Simon walked up to River.

"Are you alright,mei-mei?" he asked.

"Bad men touched her…she hurt them." River growled.

"What!" said Simon.

"One of the locals tried to feel the moonbrained girl up. She took exception to it." Said Jayne.

"Violently." Xander added.

"That explains why she did, what she did but what were you tow thinking?" asked Mal to Xander and Jayne.

"The odds were twenty to one!" exclaimed Xander. Mal made a disbelieving noise.

" We know River can handle herself. She took on and ungodly amount of Reavers single handedly. You said she was one of those Slayer girls…"

Yes, Xander had told them about the true history of the 'Verse. That it was older than they knew or were taught. He had to after River threw a three hundred pound man across a room. Added to the fact some of the bounty hunters that would come after Xander wouldn't all be human. He didn't want them too shocked.

"I do not turn my back to a fight that is twenty to one. No matter how power the one fighter is!" Xander lowly hissed at Mal who wisely stepped back at the tone. Mal had seen what happened went Xander used that tone, things and people got dead. Mal nodded, then looked at Jayne.

"What's your excuse?" Mal asked him. Jayne looked at him blankly.

"Violence."

"They had my back." Said River.

" You should have seen it, Mal. The way she tore though them, then she and Xander fought back to back, there moves almost in unison. It was a thing of beauty." Said Jayne in an admiring tone. River smiled slightly, and then frowned.

"Beauty that as a terrible price." She said. Jayne frowned, and then said " Can't even give the moonbrained girl a compliment." As he walked away. River smirked wickedly.

"Do you still prefer her when she was in the box?" she called out to him.

"She was naked then." Jayne muttered just loud enough so they all heard him. River giggled, he then realized what he said and made a frustrated noise as he continuted to walk away. Simon frowned at his sister.

"You shouldn't tease Jayne," he told her " he might try to bite you."

River shrugged and walked up the catwalk, but before she got out of earshot they heard her say " but that's the point."

Both Mal and Simon looked confused at that, but not Xander they saw the understanding look he had.

"Now probably wouldn't be a good time to mention that Slayers have a thing for the bad boy type, would it?" he asked. Both Mal and Simon shook their heads.


	9. Chapter 9

Life Just Ain't Fair-ch.9

For the last few days, Mal had noticed, Xander watching Jayne. Whenever they went out on jobs Xander always partnered with Jayne or River. Serenity's crew learn quickly how useful having Xander along on jobs could be, he saved their lives more than once. It seemed after the bar fight on WhiteFall had caused a bond to grow between Jayne and Xander, River too. Jayne hardly ever called her crazy and when he did it was with affection. Simon was wary of this new development between his sister and the mercarny.  
The three were always found together talking, fighting, somewhere on the ship.

Mal didn't understand it or like it very much, but the new friendship between River and Jayne seemed to help River, she hardly ever had fits, and when she did they were as bad.  
Mal also knew Jayne would never betray River the way he did on Ariel. If the Alliance were to take her, he knew Jayne would stop at nothing to fine her again. She was his friend now, Jayne did value the few of them he did have, and very few people earn Jayne's friendship he knew. No one but River and Xander had that; no matter what names he may curse at them.

Mal walked into the cargo bay in time to see River swing a sword at Jayne. Normally that would have worried him if he hadn't saw Jayne had one too. The swords clashed like thunder, sparks jumped from the clashing blades. Jayne it seemed could use that sword, knew the rules to what he was doing not just mindlessly swing it. He was matching River blow for blow. They circled each other both looking for the others weakness in a primal dance. Mal didn't have to ask where they got the swords; he had seen them in Xander's things. And thought it odd, until Xander told them about the truth to the 'Verse and how some things just couldn't be killed by a gun. Mal was about to stop them when he felt a hand on his should startled him he jump.

"Damnit, you need a bell." He told Xander when he saw him. Xander just smirked at Mal. He sighed.

"Don't you think those two are dangerous enough, you had to give them sharp objects to play with, Simon's not going to be happy"  
Xander shrugged.

"Wanted to know something, and I couldn't if I was the one fighting him"  
Mal blinked at that.

"Him?" Mal questioned.

"Not everything is about River. But this way she gets to have her fun too. Slayer's love fighting any time or place. Hand to hand or with weapons it's all good to them." Xander told them but his eyes never left them dueling pair. After a few more minutes Xander told them to stop, they exchanged a few more blows then stopped. River skipped up to them looking amazed as if she just learned a secret and wanted to share it.

"He's like me, Captain daddy"  
Mal looked at her blankly as Xander walked over to Jayne and was speaking in a low voice.

"He's just cracked, not broken." River said in a dreamy tone.

"How old!" Xander asked getting Mal attention. Jayne sighed and look like he really didn't want to have this conversation.

"I was eighteen, two months later I found Serenity." Jayne said. Mal looked dumbfounded. River giggled.

"Captain daddy thought he fooled Jayne...when Jayne was the one who fooled you. Fooled us all...couldn't see it...was hidden deep...made me mad that I couldn't see it then. Fooled me too, not more now." She told Mal as they walked over to the other two men.

"What's he talkin' about, Jayne?" Mal asked him. Jayne sighed and looked away from them.

"You know I came from a backwater world. Only three ways off it, The Companion Guild, The School, or death"  
Mal frowned he had heard rumors of the School, it was said they taught and train elite soldiers, but some said they trained assassin's as well.

"I was six, I was given the tests for learnin'. Wasn't pretty enough for the Companion Guild. That left the School. It's an honor to be chosen." Jayne said with a dry laugh.  
"If they knew the truth...but I learn what the tests said I would. I had violent reactions to everthing as a child; I would hit things and people when provoked. The tests said I what was needed to be trained as..." Jayne trailed off.

"As what?" asked Mal.

"An assassin..." whispered River Jayne nodded at that.

"I was seventeen when I escaped the School, my training was finished. I wasn't tortured the way River was but no child should be taught what I was, no child should know how to kill a person forty-three ways by the time there seven. Traveled then for a while decided if I was going to be a killer it would be on my terms. Spread some rumors about Jayne Cobb. Made him older, meaner, and stupider than most merc's then became him."

"Masks to hide the hurt." River said softly. Jayne didn't hear that but Mal did.

"Just like my training taught. But when I saw Serenity, I knew I had found it."

"Found what?" asked Xander.

"Peace, found my freedom. You felt it too, Mal. Why else did you make a deal with me and not one of the others?"

Mal could answer that, he shrugged he had, just had a feeling that today. Jayne sighed and asked " Do you want me off Serenity"  
Mal shook his head.

"Already have one crazy assassin why not two? Never asked about you past, seems yours is the only one that as come to haunt us yet. You do your job, I got no complaints, Jayne." Mal told him, Jayne nodded then left the cargo bay, Mal turned to Xander.

"How did you know?"

"I saw him pull a move they only teach at the School, during that bar fight."

Mal nodded then wondered how Xander knew which fighting move was that one move. Xander could see the question on Mal's face. Xander shrugged then and said.

"Trained there too." He told Mal. Mal walked away, going up the stairs, shaking his head there were three of them on his boat. Mal did some quick math, his merc' was only twenty-six, who was a trained assassin. The crazy girl was an assassin-reader Slayer girl. The 'Verse had real demons in it; real evil that epic's were wrote about. The boy from the stasis box was well connection in the underworld of the 'Verse, demon and criminal. Mal looked down from the catwalk as Xander sat on a crate as he started to clean and sharpen the swords. River sat on the floor watching him work. Mal wondered what other relevations Xander would bring.

. 


	10. Chapter 10

Life Just Ain't Fair ch.10

Xander felt the arm around his neck, felt the hand at his throat squeeze slightly.

"Angelus!" greeted a cockney English accent. Glancing up he saw platinum blond hair,  
yellow feral eyes, ridges on the nose and forehead...a vampire. Angel greeted the blond with a hug and a laugh still holding on to Xander. Finding himself between the vamps, Xander was worried.

"Spike," said Angel as Spike throws aside the poke he had been using to poke hole in the school ceiling. Angel smirked at him.

" I taught you to guard you perimeter. Tsk, Tsk, Tsk. You should have someone out there." He told Spike. Spike sighed.

"I did, I'm surrounded by morons."

Xander listened as Angel an the blond vampire spoke, Angel asking if he met the Slayer about how tough she was, that he was using the Anne Rice I'm so tortured routine. Xander could keep his mouth shout anymore at that.

"I knew you were lying"  
Angel squeezed Xander throat and shake him to shut him up.

"Undead liar guy!" he choked out. Angel holds him by his hair and shirt exposing Xander's neck

"What about a bit before we kill her?" Angel asked Spike. Xander felt himself being jerk up. Angel on one side of him, Spike on the other. Sharp teeth embedded themselves on both sides of his neck, Xander screamed; a few moments later a pair pull out of his neck.

"He is a nummytreat." Said that English accent. Xander woke himself up screaming.

As Xander wandered the ship later, he wondered about the dream, wonder why the first he dreamed that first meeting so different from what actually happened. He wondered why he had dreamed of a meeting that happened five hundred years ago. He stopped and sighed then sat next to his favorite veiwport on Serenity. Looking out it he remembered the past.

The final Apocalypse had come, the Scoobies were there, and they beat it then partied. The Powers-That-Be decided to reward them. Angel became human, he and Angelus became one personality, and Angelus was also give immorality. Buffy, Willow, and Xander were granted immorality as well. But given other things as well, Buffy lost her Slayer powers.  
The PTB's knew she never liked being the Slayer and that all she ever wanted was to be normal, so that is what the Powers did. Buffy was able to have her fairytale ending with Angel that she always wanted. Willow they gave full excess to all her powers, she now had forever to learn all about them. They also gave the promise that she would find Tara again. For Xander they gave back his eye, emerald green it might be, along with that he got some of the hyena back as well as the memories of the soldier restored. They always granted Xander the knowledge of what it means to be The One Who Sees...he could see it now...

Giles strangely enough refused the offer of immortality. He told the others later that there were people he wanted to see again, and he couldn't do that if he lived forever. Buffy and Willow never understood Giles's choice but Xander had. So Giles trained Slayers until he died when he was hundred and five.

Wesley and Cordelia were given a second chance at life as immortals as well. But there disenchantment with the good fight and Angel was obvious. Faith to became immortal, she stayed a Slayer, and she loved being one. It was after the final Apocalypse that she made her true peace with the others. She and Buffy made their peace with each other, but would never like each other. Faith still admired Angel, still believed that he could help her redeem herself, even though she had been forgiven she didn't feel that she had earn it yet. Willow and Faith came to an understanding and became better friends; they no longer hated the sight of each other. With Xander she became a true friend to him, they even tried a relationship later, but fought they were better as just friends.

Dawn and Connor they all found were immortal by how they were created. She and Connor had had each other; they had a lot in common since neither was suppose to be able to exist. Their romance had enough adventure and angst to match Buffy and Angelus's. Spike was given true immortality, but still kept the strengths of a vampire.  
He still had the bloodlust and needed to drink blood but could live off animal blood instead of humans. He still liked a pint of the good stuff every once in awhile. He was also now immune to holy objects; water and he could walk in the sun.

When Earth-That-Was, was lost it's destruction hit them all hard. Until they realized that it wasn't just the planet they were protecting but humanity itself. As long as there were people they had their purpose.

"Why are you staring out there? Nothing to see but black." Asked a voice. Xander blinked and tried to shake the thoughts of the past away. Jayne was sitting across from him cleaning a knife.

"Just lost in thoughts."

"The past?" asked Jayne. Xander nodded then asked, "Did you want something?"

"Captain's called a meeting."

"Let's go see the Captain then."

The crew sat around the table in the galley as Mal paced in front of them.

"We've been on this bout with out a break for two months. Thanks to Xander we've had steady work, and we've worked hard. We deserve a some R&R.," he told them.

"But where are we gonna go? Alliance patrols all the good places." Said Kaylee.

"Well," Mal said seeming uncomfortable, " I got a wave from Inara. She's fine at that school on Isis, she went to teach at six months ago, but I think she's homesick for this old boat. She wants to see all of us."

No one said anything.

"So?" asked Mal. They all nodded in agreement.

"Isis, uh." Xander muttered. 


	11. Chapter 11

Life Just Ain't Fair-ch.11

Two days later they landed on Isis, it was a lush tropical planet, just behind the school. Xander stared at the school it looked like an Arabian castle something Aladdin would have tried to steel something from. He followed the others of the ship. Walking between River and Jayne he said " I knew a Companion once..."

"Was she pretty?" asked Jayne, River hit him in the shoulder; she had taken to hitting him if he showed any interest women, Jayne glared at her. Xander Smirked at them then smiled softly.

"He was breathtaking."

"Oh!" said Jayne dumbfounded. He knew there were male, Companions just as there were females, and they were just rare.

Xander got a closer look of the castle, the gardens were blooming with the scent of hundreds of exotic flowers, and something about this place teased his memory.

"Xander..."

He turns slowly, and walked up to the slim man with honey colored hair. Xander put his arms around the slimmer man's waist and pulled him until the man's rested back rested against Xander's chest.

"So what do you think of your castle?" Xander asked as they looked at the half finished Arabian castle.

"It's beautiful, pet!"

"Well you deserve a beautiful place to teach beauty to others." Xander whispered softly into the blonde's ear. Who then twisted in his arms until the other faced Dander and wrapped his arms around his neck.

"Why have you done this?" asked the blond.

"We need some peace and beauty in our lives...there has been too much fighting, too much death. It's time to rest for awhile...just us."

The blond smiled making his blue eyes light up.

"Have I told you how much I love you today, Xander"  
"Xander?"

"Xander!" Simon said as he shook him. Xander blinked then looked at him.

"Sorry, I spaced off." Said Xander. Simon frowned, Mal had told him and what he found out about Jayne and Xander's pasts. The look Xander had was the same one his sister got when she was remembering things that hurt her.

"I'm fine."

"Xander..."

"I'm fine, Doc." Xander said more harshly, and then smiled, " I'll be just fine."

They walked through the courtyard it the entrance of the castle, and were greeted by a beautiful brunet with deep dark eyes; she was wearing silks and satins in different shades of gold.

"Inara..." said Mal. She smiled and greeted each of the crew by name. Then was introduced to Xander. If Xander had looked up at that moment he would have seen a familiar platinum blond head, leaning out one of the tower windows smoking a cigarette. He would have seen the blonde's eyes narrow and frown. But he would have saw something else too, he would have seen a gleam of hope in those cold blue eyes. 


	12. Chapter 12

Life Just Ain't Fair-ch.12

Inara lead them to a large room that was decorated in red and gold silks. Cushions were placed through out it, in the same colors. Kaylee and Simon sat on a large red cushion cuddling together. Zoë had found the only lone black cushion to sit on. Mal sat on a gold one, that was next to a red and gold patterned one that he knew Inara would use when she was done pouring tea for everyone. Xander stood in front of a big arch window, looking out into the courtyard, where male and female students of the school were training in self-defense and weapons, bows and arrows and swords. Jayne and River sat on opposite sides of the window, where Xander was standing.

Xander half listened to the others conversations.

'Something about this place...' he thought.  
It made him feel things, things that made no sense. Feelings of longing, happiness and joy, love too. But he was sure he had never been here before today.

"Why do Companions have to learn weapons or self-defense?" asked Kaylee innocently after seeing the students train.

"For protection, in order for a Companion to do there calling well, they must open themselves in a way you never would. Making them vulnerable. People would take advantage of the Companion. If the Companion knows they can take care of themselves, even on just a physical level. They learn the self-confiedents in order to be able to do this." This was not said by Inara but by Xander as he looked out the window. Inara's eyes widen in surprise.

"That is one of the reasons the owner of this school teaches." She said,  
"Were you a stood here?" She had noticed Xander's beauty and grace of movement.  
Xander turned to face them.

"I don't know." He said softly. Inara was about to ask how he couldn't know. When Mal stopped her by laying a hand on her arm and shaking his head.

"You said you knew a Companion." Said Jayne. Xander looked at him confused.

"I did...when?"

Jayne looked at him in concern.

"Ten minutes ago, when we were in the courtyard garden. I asked if she was pretty, you said he was breathtakin'...don't you remember?" Jayne asked as Xander wrapped his arms around himself. Looking down at the floor he shook his head

"Don't remember that." Xander said the fear in his eyes obvious.

"Xander maybe you should let the Doc, see you to you. Maybe he can help." Said Mal.  
Xander saw Simon was going to agree to that. But Xander knew it wouldn't help.

"Don't bother, Doc. What's wrong with me isn't physical not even really mental. River then cocked her head to the side.

" The Heart hid its secrets from the Red Goddess. So she couldn't steal them away. Deep in the darkness they hide. But all will be revealed."

"You think." Xander asked hopefully.  
"Cause I don't mind being crazy, that can be fun, but I would like to know what make me that way."

"Whelp, you've always been crazy!" Said a cockney English accent.  
Standing there in the doorway of the room was a slim young man, dressed in black and sliver patterned a kimono type robe that was a couple inches shorter than Xander. He had short platinum blond, electric blue eyes and a scar that cut through his right eyebrow. Who just seemed to ooze sexuality, not the prim and proper type of a Core trained Companion, but something more animal like, more primal. He affected everyone in the room.

"Spike!" Xander said in shock. 


	13. Chapter 13

Life Just Ain't fair-ch.13

"Don't just stand there with your mouth open. Greet your old friend." Said Spike.

"But why...the how...uhh?"

"Eloquent as always, whelp." Smirked Spike. Xander blinked and shook his head. Finding Spike in a Companion house wasn't as shocking as you might think. Finding him working as one...well that was head shake worthy. Spike always did like his creature comforts as a Companion he'd have them. Only have he ever knew who preferred a smelly basement to a crypt and that was pre-soul. Xander smiled at the vampire.  
It had taken almost three hundred years but they had become friends not just the allies they were in Sunnydale. Of course the first two hundred they had tried to kill each other.

"Hello, Spike"  
Spike smiled slightly, but it didn't reach his eyes. They shared a hug and manly backslapping. When Xander pulled away from him, he wondered why that had felt so right.  
Why he does he feel...

"Introduce me to your new friends, pet."

"Not your pet." Xander hissed out at him. Wondering where this anger he was feeling was coming from. Spike blink then nodded. Xander closed his eyes and sighed. When he opened them he looked embarrassed at what he said. Then did as Spike asked and introduced Serenity's crew.

Spike's eyes widen slightly when he saw River, who had her head cocked to the side listening to some unheard voice.

"The Kitten will care for you, my wicked light. Kitten will keep the dark light in you shining; he will be more than you know. Protect Kitten, my Spike, and the Kitten in turn will be loyal to you." River said in an upper English accent. From Spike's look she was mimicking someone he had known. Spike choked out a shocked "Drusilla".

That had been the last thing she had said to him before she disappeared three hundred years ago. Spike turned away from the less than sane girl to look at Xander and saw the blankness that had come over his eyes. He knew what was coming...

"I miss Selene," Xander said swaying slightly back and forth. Spike frowned.

"You almost lost your head on Selene." Spike told him. True they were all immortal but they still got hurt and they still felt pain like humans or vampires do and only healed slightly faster than normal. Spike knew this because each of them had sought death at one time or another trying to find release from their reward.

"Would have found it, and stuck in back on like a Lego"  
Spike put a hand on Xander's arm, but he turned his back to Spike. Walking a way, Spike followed him.

"Do you love me, Sweet William? Even the parts you can't see?"

"From your brown eyes to your blood, my sweet." Spike said as he pulled Xander back against him.

"The dog meows and the cat barks."

They others had never see Xander act like this; true they had seen him do and say crazy things but not this crazy.

"What's going on?" asked Mal.

"Shhh," River hissed, holding a finger to her lips.  
"The Knight is Seeing, must be like mice, so the Poet will know his words to speak"  
Mal was just confused, it seemed he stayed in that stated anymore. He was about to say something when Jayne spoke.

'Shut it, the blond know what he's doin'" Jayne told Mal in a low tone. Mal kept silent.

"Talk to Spike, tell me what you see." He said to Xander in the same tone in used on Drusilla for hundreds of years. Spike hated this, hated that for this gift or curse Xander had he had to give up his sanity to use it. Hated that the fact that Willow, Buffy and enough Angelus used the boy for this abilities for their own gain rather than helping him through this visions. But when Xander was like this he reminded them all too much of Drusilla, and that make them remember Angelus's cruelty. Something none of those three like to remember to them the past was best forgotten. They used this to force Xander back to being the Donut Boy, the Zeppo. Why Xander could always forgive the girls for what they did to him, Spike could never figure out.

"The day of the hawk is coming, the petty gods will rise. War will be declared king, Peace shall consort. The gods reborn, the old ways return." Said Xander then looked over to River.

"Two by two, hands of blue, did what they were created to do...from normal girl to Slayer made...not right. But is now, what purpose does she serve." Xander looked to Spike and cried out " Why did the Slayer Queen do this!" Spike shook his head, and then saw the sanity slowly come back to Xander's strange eyes.

"Spike," he asked softly.  
"Yeah?"

"Catch me." Xander whispered just before he passed out. Spike caught him before he hit the floor.

"Gods now!" muttered Mal.  
"Wasn't the Alliance, Blue Sun and every Bounty Hunter in the 'Verse enough...now Gods." The part about the gods was about the only part he understands of Xander's crazy talk and he didn't like it.

"Well, Captain" Zoë said as they watched Spike tended to Xander with the help of Inara, Jayne and River.  
'There never seems to be a dull moment since we met Xander"  
Mal glared at her. 


End file.
